Real life…and new babies

Well it’s the Tuesday after the Bank Holiday and real life ought to be starting up again…and in some ways it is with the showing Donor Mum tonight and the feature on egg donation that is hopefully on the One Show at 7pm.  I say hopefully because you never know till the last minute with the media…very easy to get bumped for something more topical or spicy.  However, Nina is not back in the DCN office until tomorrow and I just can’t get our new grand-daughter and her parents out of my mind.  I recall only too clearly how disorienting the first couple of weeks after having a baby (particularly the first) are, how easy it is to find yourself still in night things at 4pm, how hard it is to find time to eat (thank goodness Peter is a good cook) or even go the loo.  Somehow the time passes in a blur of feeding, winding, watching, washing, nappy changing and yes, sometimes, adoration and wonder at the tiny, perfect being you have produced.   I worry about them because I am a mum and that’s what we do (as Emily will already have discovered), but they are both mature adults who have been together for nine years and have a relationship that has weathered infertility with the continual sadness, disappointment and guilt that that brings and I have no doubts at all that they are doing well and will continue to do so.

It makes me think back forty years to when I had Peter.  No paternity leave in those days so my (then) husband went straight back to work and I had to get on with caring for a new baby in a new house in a new town with no friends around and not even a ‘phone installed so I could keep in contact with my mum.  No real breast-feeding support either so I ended up with an abscess that had to be drained in hospital and putting Peter on formula, which was the last thing I wanted to do.  I was 23, very lonely and aware that my marriage was not likely to last very much longer.

Hmm, I think I’m going to try and stop worrying about Peter and Emily.  Their love and longing for this baby and the strengths they have together will bring them through these strange but wonderful early days to easier times ahead.  They have each other.


About oliviasview

Co-founder and now Practice Consultant at Donor Conception Network. Mother to two donor conceived adults and a son conceived without help in my first marriage.
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