The role of Faith and love…

Well, Elizabeth Marquardt responded to part of my request for clear statements about her assumptions, or biases as she probably more accurately calls them.

Her religious affiliation is interesting.  I knew nothing about the Bahi’i Faith, but a quick Google this morning reveals the following from Wickipedia.

The Bahá’í Faith teaches that the only acceptable form of sexual expression is within marriage, and Bahá’í marriage is defined in the religion’s texts as exclusively between one man and one woman.[1][2] Bahá’ís stress the importance of absolute chastity for any unmarried person,[3] and focus on personal restraint.

Not that her faith or any of her views are reasons to rubbish what she has to say.  I just think it important – although EM seems to have doubts about this in her response to me – that we are all clear where commentators are coming from.  To engage, or not to engage, that is the question.

I’m leaving all this behind today and going to see my gorgeous three month old grand-daughter…beloved not because she is genetically related to me but because, like any new baby, she represents hope and the future.  She has also given Walter and me a wonderful new role in life.  On the train I will be reading A Little Stranger by Sarah Waters.  I went to hear her speak the other night.  Nice woman.  Also reading Infertile Marriage by Robert Newill, published in 1974 and responsible certainly for at least one family – and almost certainly many more- not telling their now thirty-something son about his conception by donor.  Tell you more about that another time.


About oliviasview

Co-founder and now Practice Consultant at Donor Conception Network. Mother to two donor conceived adults and a son conceived without help in my first marriage.
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4 Responses to The role of Faith and love…

  1. My parent's donor is my father says:

    It’s worth engaging in. The ethics (questions/bigger picture) stand on their own regardless of anyone’s belief system. It would be a loss not to have your contributions to help add to the balance. Address the issues and not any one person’s belief system/philosophy.

  2. My parent's donor is my father says:

    Also, Mark Diebel (an adoptee) asked you a question that you haven’t responded to (I would also be interested in your answer):

    “Mark Diebel says:
    11.16.2011 at 2:18 PM
    I’m not sure how this debate works, but will dive in here. When you write that you have no religious affiliation, it is not clear to me in what way that is an assumption. What does not having this sort of affiliation provide in the way of assumptions?”

    It’s worth engaging…

  3. oliviasview says:

    Hi Karen
    To be honest, I’m not sure it is worth engaging. EM’s position on the role of donors and parents of donor conceived children are about as far from my own as they could possibly be. I ask about assumptions because none of us come from a neutral place. There is no such thing as a completely unbiased perspective. We need to know where people are coming from in order to know whether there is a possibility of shifting perspectives/influencing change. Where positions are fundamentally polarised, sometimes there is no point in putting the energy into challenging them.
    With regard to Mark Diebel’s question (which I had not seen). My assumption about religious affiliation is that this is likely to influence, at some level, a point of view where a particular faith or church has teachings on issues like marriage (all types), relationships between people (including homosexual ones) and assisted conception. My own views are unaffected by religious bias, but of course I do not claim to be without assumptions or biases. These were declared in my question to EM, which she did not wholly respond to.
    Perhaps this is engaging…but it may be as far as I go.

  4. My parent's donor is my father says:

    So be it. We will not engage then.

Comments are closed.