Like many women of my age I am part of a book club. We are currently reading In the Light of What We Know by Zia Haider Rahman. It is a deep and complex tale of two friends, both of Pakistani parentage but brought up mostly outside of that country. As one settles into a conventional life and what turns out to be an unsatisfactory marriage the other disappears, only to re-appear disheveled and exhausted many years later. It is an absorbing read, but what really caught my eye the other day was a quote from the poet A.E. Housman at the beginning of Chapter4. It is intended I think as a comment on the illusory house of cards nature of the banking and investment industry which forms part of the history of both of the friends, but it struck me forcibly how apposite it is for the precarious nature of the family structure built by non-telling parents, many of whom waste precious time and energy on not allowing the truth about how their family was built to see daylight. See what you think – “Knowledge, and especially disagreeable knowledge, cannot by any art be totally excluded even from those who do not seek it. Wisdom, said Aeschylus long ago, comes to men whether they will or no. The house of delusions is cheap to build, but drafty to live in, and ready at any instant to fall; and it is surely truer prudence to move our furniture betimes into the open air than to stay indoors until our tenement tumbles about our ears. It is and it must in the long run be better for a man to see things as they are than to be ignorant of them” A.E.Housman
PS: I recommend the book too.